I have been growing increasingly unsettled about our present church situation. We attend a fairly large church that both my husband and I grew up in since we were babies. This is the church that we attended for Sunday school, youth group and eventually wed in. In some way, it’s as though we feel a sense of obligation to attend the “church of our youth”. At the same time, I don’t know how many more times I can obligingly go. We have a few deep, meaningful friendships there but they are fed outside of this building. Most of our other relationships there stick with surface topics and are superficial at best. Well intentioned conversations that mention that we should get together but never go any further. Our children dread going to their classes and spend most services sitting with us with their stash of craft paper and markers. I don’t mind in the least having my children there but the people around us are less receptive to this solution.
We spent some time at another church but had more of the same thing with the difference being that the relationships were more “surfacey” and superficial because people didn’t know us at all. I continue to ask God, myself and my husband what the point is? Not in an angry, bitter way but out of sheer curiosity and I have yet to find any clear answers. The truth is that it’s the kid factor. If we didn’t have the kids, we’d feel less, well, guilty.
We are still so caught up in this mindset that our kids need “church”. That Sunday mornings spent going to church are necessary for their spiritual development. What do we know? What can we possibly teach them? We are only their parents. I spent a lazy Sunday morning at home with our kids recently and saw the potential for something so much more that juice, crackers and colouring sheets. We listened to music and danced. We read a verse and they shared what they thought Jesus was telling us to do. We talked about matters of the heart, their hearts and then prayed about them. It was a beautiful, meaningful morning that left me wondering what we have bought into and what is the alternative?
